Have Your Say

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

i couldnt bring myself to the toilet this morn... i was very very very tired.

slept in the train. gawd noes how ugly i sleep in the train.. haha... no, i didnt leave my mouth open.

reached sch.... had and did stoopid presentation for crs. and, oh gosh, did i cocked up.... the module was all abt arguementative issues. so yeah... got ques bein shot at me which left me speechless. gotta do well for the written paper in order to pass...

followed the guys to the comp lab... they are now OBSESSED with CS.. they illegal play in the sch comps... hehe... i did my own stuff anyways... meet up with dmtm girls for lunch. had a great time laughin our ass of at dumb jokes...

eng drawin was such a bore... joycelyn and i kept dozin off instead of drawing. and my drawing had the wrong dimensions. habis la the ship if i were to create an engine... haha...

slacked at dilla's studio... had loads of fun there... sab, lala and i looked thru frenster... checkin out cute guys. n damn, sab... u have realy GOOD lookin frens..

had to do props stuff.... had fun and frustrations. to add to tt, i had pms todae. aiyoh.. i tell u, i was feelin dreadful seh...

dad called.. was angry didnt inform him wat time im supposed to go home.. in the end, he fetched me. bagus jugak la... tak la penat sgt..

tmr, gonna be a looooong day. cant go back to siglap... argh... stupid workshop. rehearsals tmr. hope everything goes smoothly. dearest ssp peeps, do ur best for rehearsal tmr k... dun slack k. THE day is drawin nearer... im feelin anxious for u guys... arent u guys feelin the same too? we can do it... we have wat it takes. CONFIDENCE MESTI ADA... WAWAAWAA...

ok.. till tmr or sth... tata... nites everyone. sweet dreams.

adamrul: oh.. orite, but who are u? u're not syahrul, are u? coz there's da =D...
khai: hey u!!!! hehe... arent i smiling always... u take care abg. shah.. hehe..
zee: great seein u juz now..

Smashed into pieces at 8/30/2005 10:25:00 PM

oh yeahhh! i forgot to add....

i added this guy on frenster... and he accepted me...! yay! and he wrote me a 'testimonial' too... hehehe...

veriee cutee... =)

Smashed into pieces at 8/30/2005 01:04:00 AM

im tired. im exhasuted.

had a presentation on the dumb IDEAS module on mon... slept at 3, woke up at 5 to sahur, coz i decided to puase. anyway... i was zombified yesterday morn... presentation was alrite i guess.... managed to crap our way thru w/o being questioned too much.

eng drawin was like a test to see how far i could endured the nafsu of breakin fast.. hehe... almost buka puase. damn. the drawing shit was such a headache la... i confirm gonna fail for this.

ms ema came to sp for lunch. walked ard... lepak-ed at lib...

met up with zeeq, din and syahidah durin lunch time... ema met them too... oh, not forgetin adilla too. thanks to zeeq and din for lendin the boots for the production. =)

cabuted poly marina lesson AGAIN. ill be lucky if i dun get a warning letter. hahah... see shahidah sotong dear.... ponteng-ing classes is addictive... trust me.

went for ssp.... went home onli at 10pm... really tired seh.

tmr i have another presentation. this one must wear formal... damn... and i've yet to do my speech... and im still blogging... way to go, nurul. hah.

zulu: erm... wat?
elfi: ritteee... thanks for being my de-dead-bored... ill see ya ard.
sub-sab: baik ah... ade org agree with me..!
drools: ritteeee
ah boi: it is borin... when u got no cash. and not enuf rest. u have a great week too..
abg hapres: ape la... kat sini also wanna irritate me..
feli: dearrrriiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! iiiiiii miiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss uuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Smashed into pieces at 8/30/2005 12:43:00 AM

Sunday, August 28, 2005

im dead bored....

the guys have yet to email me their part of project... damn. how am i supposed to do... irritating-ness laa...

im waitin for the postin letter to be in my letter box.... most of my batchmates got their posting letter already. im really anxious...

Smashed into pieces at 8/28/2005 03:59:00 PM

attended ssp trainin for a while onli on fri....

headed for sma day at labrador park with the mly peeps frm sma... gawd, it started out terrible. waited for the bus... but it was packed. by the time we reached there, since we took the last bus, it was already 8. i couldnt stay long for some reasons... so yeah... left with tas in a cab. the place was scary. but i had fun there... cant find anyone tt is like really supportin when comes to boogie down.... maybe tas is.. but, ill crack her down soon.. heh... im crapping.

ema dressed me up on fri with make up and lipstick.... forced me to wear a cap... u owe me big time... didnt mange to sent her kuzzie off... so yeah.. lepak-ed at esplanade and at her house... tooks pics... talked... bla bla bla... loads of fun fun fun... muacks to ya ems...

wenta sch todae, or should i say yesterday.. didnt join the ssp peeps at esplanade. me, dilla, and liyana and the 'pokoks' did the pokok stuff... haha... very fun day .. the pokok guys were really hilarious... mcm2 antics they put up. haha... they are ahmad, taufik and rozhi( he's a mly... hehe... pronounced as roziee) anyways, we completed the entire props need for pokoks... really impressed with both the girls and guys... really proud of u all for doin such a great job in a day. thank u all so much for makin me feel so good...

todae, sun.... sun=boring.

gonna finish up some business plan crap by mon... deep shit as it's gonna be crappiee... argh.

elfi: haha... i dunno.. coz i dun put make up on my own... i dun even a single shit of make up at home...
ema: yeah2... u like it dun cha?
drools: yeah budak.. i will...
acap: u take care too aitee...
azurah: hey there gurl! nice to see ya here... hehe...
lala: yelah... wateva... kau ade 'taufik' kan... hahah
vice president: kau tau... hahaha... wateva la.. aku tak kisah..
so?: dropped by already babe... will leave a comment soon... n i THINK i miss u too... haha

Smashed into pieces at 8/28/2005 12:49:00 AM

Friday, August 26, 2005

i cant remember wat had happened lately.. haha.. coz i havent been updatin.. like duh.

ok..let's c.. cant remember wat happened on tues.

on weds, practical sucked big time... handed in hazeeq's workpiece in the end... somehow, i cheated coz the workpiece had to be marked.. wateva. ill try harder next week. cabuted applied heat class tt dae.. wenta bugis to get the jacket for one of the characters in the production..headed back to sch for the openin ceremony of some sports event under spnpcc... saw the business guys again.. found out tt not all were cute.. haiz.. onli one i think. din almost got me busted by gettin their no...

on thurs.. which was yesterday... reached class damn early! wee... then, cabuted tutorial to do project with zeeq and bal.. ate a lot of junk food while doin project.. haha.. lepaked at mls and played badminton with zeeq jap... damn him la... shant elaborate. but i had fun... did some work at mls.. then went home with kak huda...

todae.. now, at ema's crib...wanted to send her kuzzie off.. but tak jadi. and ema says tt emirates sucks... very much.. sorry ad. hehehe...the flight delayed.. so yeah... headed back to ema's house.. coz no where else to lepak. headin to sp later... goin for SMA day later... gonna boogie down to some muzzik..

so.. yeah.. sorry drools for not updatin yeah.. sorry to elf too... penat la by the time reached home...

btw, my SSP (Sang Singa Purba), part of the mly society, is puttin up a drama production. it's on next fri, 2nd sept, 8-10 pm.. the show will be sth like a tribute to jln ampas. and trust me, it'll be worth watchin. heh. anyway, if u want the tix.. give me a call... tix at 5 bucks.

to those who tagged.. thanks. kinda lazy to reply.. hehe... see ya guys ard... muackZ!

Smashed into pieces at 8/26/2005 02:09:00 PM

Monday, August 22, 2005

it was an awesome experience watch anugerah live in tt very studio. yes. call me a jakun. wateva.

the queue was already long when we got there... took the bus with lala, kak director and kak huda. i almost got motion sickness. hah. but nth happened.

bla, bla, bla... finally got in... the seat i got wasnt tt bad... ok la. it was near fauzie's area. talkin abt fauzie, i took a pic with him! YAY~~! oh my... he was a hottie...

i think i voted a lil bit too much.. we'll see when the bill comes. hah.

the tension was nerve-wrecking when awaitin the results... damn scary i tell u.

CONGRATS, DEAREST KHAIRUL FOR MAKIN IT THRU... REALLY PROUD OF U! dun lose hope aite... u doin fine. we're behind ya all da way...

i was hyperventilating when i talked to fauzie.. haha.. kinda embarrassed myself there.. but who cares. hehe...

okok.. i guess enuf of anugerah. hehe...

sch was orite... hazeeq and i agreed on some stuff. hah. wat a shocker. eng drawin was crappiee.. poly marina sucked even more.. slept in tt raj's class again. got caught somemore... haha...

to the darls frm ssp... haha... i tak belot khai la.. hehe... i prac juz wanted to take a pic with fauzie.. haha... im a true fan of khai, orite. had fun with u peeps... see ya.

tt's all... it was tiring man... me and liyana a.k.a "mak" went all out shoutin and jerit-ing...

till next time.. tata.

ah boi: ya... i think so too... the fite is gettin hotter... heh..
lala: haha... malu seh aku.. wan tau siape side view guy.. haha...
elfi: hell yeah i had fun!

Smashed into pieces at 8/22/2005 11:08:00 PM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

great news!
the parents allowed me to go and watch anugerah...
weeeee~~~!!
go khai, go!
we'll be there for ya tmr...

forgot the add sth abt yesterday... i have fallen in love with this guy's sideview.. haha.. sideview onli. front view... ok la.. but, the sideview was gorgeous and yummylicious... woah! haha.. lala noes ritee...? kiter hush2 abt this k... hehe..

styrofoam destroyer: i hate u.. cozz... hmm... i juz hate ya... bluek >.<

Smashed into pieces at 8/21/2005 06:41:00 PM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

todae was awesome...

met up with ssp peeps at esplanade.... as usual, rusydi cracked crappy jokes here and there.. laugh and laugh non stop... after prac, headed to bras basah where lala and arif got the stuff for their project work.. and then WALKED all the way to beach rd... and damn, it was tiring... however, it was loads of fun thruout the way... took pics.. crapped... love ya guys!

gotta leave for bbq at east coast park... so said gdbye to ssp peeps at beach rd... met din at lavender.. and taddaa~ his shirt had black collar and sleeves, juz like mine... and the tshirt was in red too.. haha... it was too much of a coincidence... as usual, he made me and dilla laugh all the way to the park.. even lala's eyes were like so tearin up frm all the laughter....

kinda tired to elaborate la...

so till next entry.. tata..

elfi: haha.. really?
yani: haha.. yeah.. tt's y i said.. if onli we had more cash...
feli: miss ya hun.. thanks for droppin by..

Smashed into pieces at 8/20/2005 11:01:00 PM

Friday, August 19, 2005

yesterday, i cabut-ed prac..
went lunch with the guys at city hall, sakura... haha.. kecoh. everyone was damn broke. but, in the end, we did chip in a lil... tak fair kan.. coz bal, diq, and azfar wanted to pay all... kalo amt sikit takpe.. then we went our separate ways.. lepak-ed at ema's house... thanks girl for layan-ing me..

todae, CD was alrite... i was juz being so noisy in class.. kinda irritated the lecturer a bit..
anyways, we presented our project.. and.. taddaaaa.. our module for Character Developmt is over. muahhaha...
went home... nap... haha.. for a very long while.. kinda overslept, sampai lambat meet my kuzzie yani.. very da sorry girl.. hehe..

wenta catch charlie and choc factory... hehe.. yeah.. we're pretty late in catchin the show.. biasela.. both of us are very busy women.. so understand understood je la.. anyway, the movie was great... it's very colourful and alive... i loike... and those lil ppl.. very adorable. and jonny depp.. oh-so-all-the-more-adorable... which makes the movie worth watchin.. heh..

went walkin ard tm... found these pair of pants really nice.. i dunno.. juz attracted both the kuzzie and my attention... then, got this sash free... i loike.. hehe. but gotta send it for alteration.. gettin it tmr..

tmr, goin esplanade for ssp... then, see how la... my plans for tmr is still not confirmed...

anyway, my dearest kuzzie... i had a great time juz now.. MUZ do it again soon.. hehe.. we could be like the world's best shoppin buddies... if onli we have more cash... haiz.. and, keep wateva i told u hush2 k... see ya ard babe..

elfi: takde pape la... ill talk to u soon aite... take care dear..
ema: yeah.. soo cool... and scariE!
laney: hey gurl!!! a big huge HELLO back at ya..
drools: haha... yeah.. the dumb catfites they have are juz plain hilarious...
zee: didnt noe u would be interested in drama.. heh

Smashed into pieces at 8/19/2005 11:21:00 PM

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

had a blast yesterday at ssp training.... laughters here and there... but still, lots to be done, even though we have training tt often.

came home late last nite.. the parents made noise again. ah. heck.
btw, mr e-pain, u're lookin gd yesterday..

had workshop/prac todae... and i totally hate it. i could get burnt juz by attendin workshops. stoopid... it's damn dangerous... cant believe MOE let it being taught as one of the modules. i gave up... my workpiece was a piece of shit.. onli god noes how much i would get..

applied heat lect was alrite... thank god for hazeeq 'scaring' me and irritatin me to the max, as usual...

cabut-ed the director-wateva-feedback-session-crap... wenta ssp props meetin... haha... fun. fun. fun. did a great job guys... esp u new guys... appreciate all the stuff u did... a whole lot of help frm all of ya... things are lookin up... we can do it! yay! hehe..

ill be pretty tired by the time i reach home these days... haiz... ICAs coming again... shitnitz. abt 4 more weeks... and i've yet to study...
mcm mane eh?

i feel like as if im being ignored.

Smashed into pieces at 8/17/2005 11:00:00 PM

Monday, August 15, 2005

jetty jump.
woah...

tt's all i can say... i took the longest time to plunge myself into the sea. haha... i couldnt seem to move my legs... my body seem to move forward.. but my legs were juz soo stubborn. haha.. it was embarrassin standin there, not jumping. but when i finally pluck enuf courage to push myself down tt diving board, it was like the longest 2 seconds of my life.

jetty jump's over... glad it is. phew! swam ard... had fun... bla bla bla... basically, all of us were dried up in the sea and got extra salty-licious at the end of everything.

eng drawin was alright... juz hantam aje the measuremts... wat the heck... as long it looks gd and complete, it's alrite for me...

i hate it when ppl juz leave like tt... at least inform me la tt u're goin off... arseholes. arghh... call hp pun tak angkat... bodoh. i suddenly find u very arrogant... sombong nak mampos!

went home with zee and nyqa... had great and quiet time with them... ate dinner at century sq.

reached home... had a lil chat with din... wenta shower..

so, tt's all for now.. tata...

oh yeah... will be readin ur blogs tmr or sth.. really tired now...

so.. yeah.. tata!

zulu: tt doesnt mean anythin la... u're insane.. and no, im still not buyin ur 'stuffs'... lol..
mai: haha.. oh.. orite.. hello there!
elfi: no prob elfi... u too k.. kalo nak gi beli, tell me...
feli: muaCkz to ya... a million zillion times! miss ya babe...

Smashed into pieces at 8/15/2005 10:53:00 PM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

yesterday, class was boring. skipped CRS.. went lunch with zeeq and bal... met up with al and hanaa... hey al, anythin give me a call aite... take care of urself.

met up with elfi at dhoby gawd... followed him to citibank to pay his mom's credit card.. then walked ard at PS... we bought the interestin lookin food... sth like a fishball, but bigger... and inside, there's different stuffings. it was really boilin hot when we bought it... elfi could like popped the whole big ball in at once... so, me, being smart, i did the same thing... but in the end, i couldnt swallow it.. haha.. it was scorchin hot.. it burnt my tongue.. ouch!

asked to blanja me starbucks.. and he did! thanks fi... muaCKz!

took train back to tamp and headed to east view... some of my cadets were there for some tug of war comp... parted frm elfi there since he gotta go somewhere else..

took the sch bus back with the rest of them frm east view.... didnt do much stuff at siglap yesterday.

wenta drama nite at TPJC... it was rockin'ly AWESOME! man.. it was really wat i need after the shit i went thru.... the drama put up was fun to watch.. totally hilarious, and at the same time, created real suspense... haha... glad i didnt miss it. to add to the goodness of the show, the actor in the first show, ahmad khan suratee... he was hot... superbly hot and charming. and funny too. =)

oh yeah.. met azlin! my old-old-long-time-never-meet-up pri sch fren... saw diyanah for a while too... it was SoO NICE seeing u, old gf.. hehe... take care ya.. and i still envy u coz u went to GERMANY! hmph!

reached home abt 11 last nite... parents werent too happy... wateva la.. im tired of the same ol' shit..

received more shockin news last nite... very da fucked up...

anyway, i think im better off stayin single... well, it would be nice havin tt really special someone in ur life, but when things get put of hand... and many diff parties are involved.. and make things more complicated, i think, it's WAY better being single. i guess ema would agree with this.

to U, there aint a prob here... im fine with everything. really. juz move on... i noe u're confused. and i dunno wat to do abt tt... but, i dun understand ur point when we talked yesterday. frm wat i see, there isnt a prob. u are makin it more complicated... either tt, or u're not makin me understand the whole picture.

the dad is getting older and fucked up in his thinking... oh god.. i juz soo wanna run away and never come home.

elfi: hehe... takde eh...
mai: oh... frm MLS eh?
drools: yeah... bile la nak jumpe... go put up ur workin schedule on ur blog...haha.. then ill see when i can go down..muAcKZ!

Smashed into pieces at 8/13/2005 03:31:00 PM

Thursday, August 11, 2005

sch was orite.. was half an hr late todae...

went lunch with the boys.. but didnt eat anything. was damn quiet juz now... sorry to those who realised tt i was quiet. but, i think none did.. so, who cares.. wateva. met nadirah at fc 3... nice to see ya girlfren... for some reason, seein u made my dae... maybe coz of the ppl i was with juz now. but it was GREAT meetin u babe.. muackz!

went home with rashidah and ema. said gdbye to zee at city hall... went walk2 with rash at raffles link while waitin for tt princess of kecoh.

then, rash wenta take her bus... ema and i took same bus home...

talked abt our dilemmas... man, it's such coincidence tt we're facin some shit... haha..

i need to study... ICAs comin in 5 weeks... fast. damn fast. i hate time.

farlinah: hey there!!! hope u doin well too... thanks for droppin by girl... anyway, readin ur lil 'scarie' experience freaked me out already... and ur mom's bdae is the same as my dad's! haha.... take care dearie... study smart aite..
phreak: yeah.. i will..
ts: THank u SO much... u've been a GREAT fren.. ill see ya ard..
mai: thanks.. but which mai is this..? sorry... cant figure out..

Smashed into pieces at 8/11/2005 09:26:00 PM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

i hate u. im pissed off. should i call u coward? i dunno.

Smashed into pieces at 8/09/2005 02:46:00 PM

Monday, August 08, 2005

i hate my life.

im pissed.

the parents dun have the very least trust in me.

im suffocating.

im confused.

i need adrena.

i need ema.

i need feli.

i need the table ppl.

i need my gf.

i need elfi.

i need vic.

i dun understand a shit tt's happening now.

my life is in a mess.

i cant seem to get thru this phase alone.

and no one is willin to go thru it with me.

im sheddin tears every now and then.

and it scares me.

coz i dun cry much.

im gettin weaker.

sth's breakin up me.

im strong.. deep within...

arent i?

Smashed into pieces at 8/08/2005 11:30:00 PM

hiee all... at aisyah's cribbie now... droppin by to get back my charger...

sch was aite... presentation abt IDEAS project went well... i mean, for last min... the stuff we presented were mediocre but, we made it thru... and tt's wat impt.

eng drawin was ok... managed to draw the shit out... lunch break was at clementi with the guys... then it was pool time... i didnt play though... wasnt in the mood... anyway, left for poly marina with bal, yan and zaidi.

was caught sleepin in class at poly marina! haha... cant blame me ppl... the lecturer was showing a video... boring... so, i feel asleep.

went home with zaidi and yan... had great fun.. met rashidah! hooray! da lame tak jumpe tt lil girl... miss ya her man... anyways, those 2 guys were teasing me like shit.. and so i embarrased them.. hha.. shant say it here... man, do i feel real bad after tt...

zaidi owes me big time.... hmmph..

ADRENA CALLED ME LAST NITE!!! WOOHHO! hahah... tears like rolled down as soon as i heard her voice... man.... it was nice to listen to ur voice and laughter... n, fyi, i think ur laughter sounds so much more mature now... i love it. and i love ur specs.... i loike it loads... we chatted abt stuff.... updated her on news in and about s'pore. i pity her seh... haha... her liife is flooded with essays.... muahahha...

till laterz... tata..

phreak: really..? nak pinjam...? rashidah takde?
soundexposed: hi boy! hehe...
elfi: awww... ill always be pretty? hehe... thanks darlin...
ema: thanks babe... muackZ!
drools: tak yah gi ah.. no biggie.. teachers' day go back MORE meaningful...
al: see ya ard babe...

Smashed into pieces at 8/08/2005 07:03:00 PM

Sunday, August 07, 2005

did CIP at aljunied.... at a home.. tot it would be boring, but turned out to be fun... the guys went crazy and created a video clip.. haha.. had fun ppl.. thanks for all the laughters.

overnited at siglap on fri nite... was kinda fun i must say.. but i was kinda lonely la... went hyper solo.. w/o my sidekick ad.. anyway, went out for dinner with the peeps... persuaded jackson to buy for me haagen daz... muahahha.. and he did! how nice of him.. thank u dearie... ;)

went back to sch.. slack.. then, discussed stuff for games day sometime after midnite... slept in the hall with some of the sec 3 boys and the rest of the CIs... it was like pure air con in the hall when all the fans are on full blast... woke up at 6, cadets have already arrived... damn. they're too early man... but, well, wat to do. coz they're very enthu... at 6 in the morn, ais, farz and me wenta bath... got ready for games dae...

i refreed captain's ball for girls.. n, trust me.. it aint as ez as it looked...

to cut it short, siglap did win some games.. cant remember exactly.. tough fite for the champion/ challenge trophy with eastview. in the end, both schs were tied... hehe.. so, this yr champs are siglap and eastview. but heck, siglap won three yrs consecutively. so, gd job, my dearest cadets.. proud of u guys... im glad tt u guys put in lots of effort. well done! to other area 8 units, good job to u guys too... it was a tough comp between all units.. see ya next yr! =)

smart me forgot to bring back my hp charger... so, now till tmr nite when i get it back frm ais, im onli left with 3 bars... haiz...

i was appalled... taken aback... shocked.. by the news i got. well.. it was totally unexpected. i didnt noe how to react when she told. didnt noe whether to be angry or cry. didnt noe whether to laugh or jump ard. i noe i didnt blog this down earlier... but i really wanted to get him back. i guess it's all too late.. it was all my fault anyway. i couldnt commit... so, i guess, i was to blame.. and i shouldnt feel remorse or anything, should i? i had no idea this would happen.. tt's y i tot i had all the time in the world to wait... to sort things out.. to get him back in time to come.

"i still like u. i still love u. a lot. I should have held on tight. I never should've let you go. I didn't know nothing. I was stupid. I was foolish. I was lying to myself. i've been meaning to talk to you. i had no idea this would have happened. i didnt see it coming. damn. nobody did. i had no idea u would have move on so fast. tt fast. but lately, i realised i really need someone. i need u. but, i had already let u go, and i didnt dare to turn back and reach out for u again. i was lost. I lost a part of me when i let u go. but it's all too late now. "

mariah carey's "we belong together" never meant so much to me b4, till yesterday.

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

'Cause I didn't know you
'Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody there
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

Smashed into pieces at 8/07/2005 09:40:00 PM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

fyi ppl, esp my darlings- drools and feli- i didnt rebond my hair, precisely like wat elfi said. thank u elf.. it was a temporary one onli... haha.. so im still the lil ms frizzylady... however, i am, as always, jambu drools... muhahah.

was damn late for sch todae... came in half an hr late.. but wat the heck. got to noe my results for applied heat a.k.a phy paper.. and i PASSED!! horay~! it wasnt a gd pass, but still... it'll do for now...

went mkn with the boys, then dropped by JP... walked ard.. bought a brush and a comb. haha... i dunno y.. gatal.. duit da takde, masih gatal nak beli unneccessary stuffs..

came a lil late for prac... did nth much... zeeq became extra hyper.. tt's sooo typical.. muhahah..

wanted to adilla to finish class, so tt we can go gym.. but, she cancelled the plans.. boohoo~...

haha... make sure u make it up girl...

tmr, my plans are in a mess... i have activities for the da whole dae... but dunno which one to attend.

my dae went great, i guess... until mom came home and got me all frustrated. im supposed to overnite at siglap this fri, which is tmr, to prepare for an event on sat... told her last nite.. and she was like, ok. then, she was like questioning me non stop juz now... damn... give me some space woman... get away frm me... once again, i found out tt the parents have yet to trust me... thank god for me schlin in sp... sch far away has its advantages... and boy, im glad for tt... it's so fecked up, u noe... me gettin questioned abt overniting at siglap.. and, c'mon, it's in siglap. u dun believe, give a call... i aint lying la... baru kat siglap overnite, da bising2.. im so fucked up. bingit ah...

im 17, but i dun feel like one when im at home. i juz wish i have the guts not to come home one day. u noe... like run away for a dae or two.. or for a few daes... tt is if i have the guts, im so pissed off... i dun have the freedom yet. i dun have the parents believin my words. they dun trust me. i c others being free and havin fun and makin their own decisions... when they are 17. evident proof: my frens. well, they mite care for me.. but it's a lil bit too much.

i dun like being sheltered too much frm the harsh reality of the world now.. i wanna be out there, earn my own money... i noe it's hard. i wanna feel tt hardship. im ungrateful? no im not... im juz... deprived. deprived of the real world. im being locked up too much indoors... in this hell, where ppl think it's very heavenly.

im sick and tired of living life this way. missing out on outings with frens which i cant join. gotta be home early. and reachin home at 9 is late to them. shit man... i noe ppl my age, who do have proper parents and a home, goin home later than tt... and these ppl arent all guys... some are girls too... i still dun understand y they still wont let me go... y they cant loosen their grip a lil...

i've yet to tell dad abt me overniting at siglap... we'll see how things go tonite.. and i predict, there'll be a huge verbal war ala iraq-american style...

im desperate to stop living my life this way. better still, i wish all this shit could end.

lala: mengarut!
zulu: nth better things to do izzit... yeah.. kompang was great... but it was onli for a short while..

Smashed into pieces at 8/04/2005 07:59:00 PM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

finally time to update.

todae was great... sch was orite.. cabut workshop an hr earlier.. told the teacher tt we gotta leave early for NDOC. National Day Observancy Ceremony. met up with din for lunch... peeps like al, shahidah and her fren joined zeeq, me and din soon after tt... bla bla bla... got ready for the ceremony... changed into full u. wenta the stadium. guest of honour was mdm halimah sth... anyway, the GOH consisted of various UG- NPCC,NCC, DNS, Scouts... it was fun la actually... since din was there. crackin me up to the max non stop... and! i met and saw those guys frm business block with gorgeous hair again... wee~... i loike. the celebrations were dead... the song leaders were pathetic, performances were mundane. din and i had loads of criticism abt the performers.. haha... kekek giler seh... the whole ceremony was crappy... honestly, the plannin at a sec sch is waayy better..

on mon, my hair was in a mess...it kembang-ed back again... and i cant make it stay down... tried to use the straightening cream... tapi tak menjadi... i got to noe tt i failed my eng drawing. yes, i failed my first eng drawin term test. didnt show my upset-ness... or my dissappointmt...

in fact, i was devasted... i was terrified, thinkin abt the future tests tt ill be sittin for... will i still fail? can i even get thru this module...? i really dun wanna repeat.. i wanna pass... but it seems so hard for me... haiz... the lecturer even held me back after class on tues to talk to me... i was like, woaahh... how serious can this get. a lecturer talkin to me abt my studies in the first week of a new term. how demoralising... i noe i can do it... i juz need more confidence... ritee?

i keep gettin bullied lately.. hmphh... irritating.. but it's all for the fun of it... but, let's see if the boys noe their limits... =)

latest update: i have a new nick... nurul a.k.a frizzylady a.k.a einstein's wife a.k.a mrs einstein... muahaha...

my cash is runnin away frm me... fast. i have no idea where the money went to...

i was like abt to go on a food binge on tues, after the lecturer talked to me... i was feelin desperate and fhug up... damn, for the first time, i really felt stressed, pressured... scared. but then, i could go on a binge, coz i onli had 5 sth bucks left.. sad...

my taggie's up again.... so, hello all!

phreak: yeah.. i do. y?
zizi: haha... tt's up to you girl.
so?: yeah.. let's meet up at siglap on ntnl dae.. cant wait..

Smashed into pieces at 8/03/2005 09:18:00 PM